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November 14

如果有一天我不能跳舞了

如果有一天我不能跳舞了
就像今天,明天
我会非常恐惧
我的快乐不再得以表达
我的心灵也再没有保护
 
如果有一天我不能跳舞了
我也不在去追求了
我开始恐惧
 
October 25

我们的世界

我们身处的世界,
是相隔很远的世界,
于是
在真实的世界之上
创造了第三个世界,
一切美好
从这里开始;
 
这个世界是膨胀的
它充斥的我的白天
黑夜
还有清晨
睁开眼睛都觉得好饱满
处处洋溢的饱满
好像身上盖着的羽绒被
暖暖层层的呵护着我
使我免受外面的风寒
让我再次希望自己勇敢
坚强
让我爱上自己的笑
笑得那么的真实
 
我终于可以满满的
听着梅艳芳
亲密爱人
一遍遍
亲爱的人
亲密的爱人
谢谢你这么长的时间陪着我;
亲爱的人
亲密的爱人
这是我一生中最兴奋的时分。
 
October 22

falling apart

something just broke
i think it is my mind
floating
in the timeless
im afraid of time
cuz it only leads to the future
scary future,
i think im having a fever
in my head
it doesn't come out
painful, burning
traps me in,
my thoughts
torn into pieces,
little fractures with sharp edges
imprisoned me
wondering if my heart is still intact
it must have been smashed 
in the asphalt
you know,
when it cools
turns into that black strangling shell
ties to every cell of your lung
breathless
moment that this,
there is no way out
wait for the death of the thoughts
then the music comes on
music,
everywhere jazz,
evewere booom,
evewe life,
evewhere joy,
everywhere...nowadays~
you can like the life your livin,
you can live the life you like,
you can even marry Henry
and mess around with Ike, (how great!)
...n..that is good,
isn't it grand!
isn't great?!
Ahahah, im so mad now,
im going to be mad
maaaad
and mad today.
October 10

something

This is one of the most confusing night I had ever had.
I went to a bar,
yes,  I   went   to  a bar,
the first time this year.
The pretty dress wraps around my skin and stops at my upper thigh,
shows off my hip, hips don't lie,
silver tights lengthened by legs, it shines,
and sexy stripper boots made me glorious,
only my blank face and uncombed wet hair telling me who i am.
I don't belong here,
yes, I know I  don't  belong  here,
like I never did.
Then someone I knew had a crush on me,
and invited me over to his dad's house,
showed me the sweet tricks of his cute little dog,
and shared with me the stories of his pilot dad,
and offered me a fly with his family's aircraft,
and in the end,
you know in the end,
like what you see in the movies,
everything came down to one thing,
SEX.
then he tries to turn me on,
He can keep rubbing my body as long as he wants,
with his tender palms and strong arms,
with the wondering smell of colon, 
with the soft lip and the promising words,
he is almost perfect, almost.
But sorry man you are looking at the wrong place,
my heart is as hard as a rock, feelingless,
cuz the essence of making love is to feel love first.
Distracted and staring at the clear night sky,
I hear words,
from Olaf, my friend,
from Jeremy, my family,
and from inside of me,
this is not me, no.
I got to leave,
i am driving with Isabel alone,
on the street without car,
only street light,
the orangish color is so mean,
it reflects the guilty out of my heart,
right on the front windbreak,
i grabed my phone,
i need to call Kevin,
crap, it is past midnight,
hope he is still up,
i have to tell him before it is too late.
shit he doesn't answer,
not even on MSN or Gmail,
come on it is not time to watch food channel!
you told me such simple thing,
to follow my heart,
that solved all the knots in my head,
thank you so much now i know,
though i'd very much love to be held,
to go to Hawaii,
to go drive a aircraft,
but i can't give up the tiny chance i might have with you
to reach for instant physical gratification. 
i cherish the feeling of care and trust from your words,
even if you may not be fond of me,
i can at least always laugh at your jokes,
that cheer feeds to my heart and make me full.
I was once confused tonight,
but now im so clear,
about my choice,
my value,
Thank you.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
June 05

二毛游记 之 来到圣地牙哥的第一天

前转

。。。哈。哈。哈。

二毛一身蛮酷户外行头出现在机场大厅, 趾高气昂的走向候机大厅, 脸上丝毫没有四个小时前误了飞机的焦虑。一个熟悉的站姿若隐若现的出现在眼前,另一个坐在吧台,用脚趾头想想也知道这两个是谁人。若比真是个酒鬼(色鬼,魔鬼),真不知这36天我该咋活。。。啊!在一个外币兑换窗口换了82000卢比,821000卢比的大钞,半厘米厚的一摞,搞得我跟大富翁似的,钱包里都装不下,虽然事后发现被宰了。

       夜航。在飞机上吃了一片睡眠片,好像一点用也没有,估计要吃两片才有用吧。飞机还挺空,睡睡醒醒的过了一夜,电视里放着傻瓜的黄金,懒得看,降落前做了个面膜,不要一脸沧桑的出现在路易斯教授面前。外面还是很黑,飞机在我的意料之外砰的一下落地了。好啦,这就是圣地牙哥啦!

 

第一天 下雨 食精大开眼界

出机场大厅,走向出租车的一霎那,我顿时感觉到了北京,那熟悉的阴霾天,映衬着灰不溜丘的立交桥,车比在美国整体偏小,偏旧(估计是空气太脏了)。我们上了一个黄色的出租面包车,在雨中哐哐的开进了城,堵车,没有人系安全带,就有了北京的氛围。老伦一路上指指点点的充当了半个导游, 好在也看到了一些传说中的安第斯山,雪山封顶很神圣。车终于停在了一个窄窄的巷子里,这就是老窝了。想想破烂说我们住在城里太缺乏野外工作者的噱头了,这就叫站着说话不腰疼。。。雨下成这样住帐篷里还不淹了。

公寓外表简陋,里面设施还算不错,顶层还有免费的健身房和桑拿。我们仨布置好了房间后就相约各自睡午觉去了, 起床后正式去吃饭。雨噼里啪啦还在下,我们走过了泥泞的街道,碰见了一个挺干净的当地口味的小餐馆,门口的小黑板写的一个套餐4000多比索,约10美金。鬼知道这西班牙文菜单说什么,不过跟据经验每日套餐都应该说得过去于是决定尝试。进去后发现还有自助餐,我们就开始商讨论底是吃自助餐还是自选套餐,后来发现自助餐就是自选套餐,因为你只能去盛一次。服务员看我们犹豫,干脆就把5种萨拉统统端了过来,我们每个人选了一种。我选的是一种酸味海藻,看着很像发了水的陈皮,不过味道和口感真是好极了。主菜我选了千层面,里面的陷料超级的丰富,连我这种吃成精的人都被迷惑住了。饮料是树莓汁,也是有史以来第一次尝到。选择甜点又是一道难题,于是三个人每人选了一种不同的换着吃。 饭能做到这份上难得,要知道99.9%的情况下我和弱比是老死不相往来的!甜点制作非常精巧,味浓而不腻!老伦买了单,三人上市中心溜达。

雨下得渐渐大了,我竟然没觉得冷,估计是我的脂肪都被调动起来了。经过了三三俩俩的可爱的小餐馆,街头的冰激凌店,路边的卖烤花生的小贩。。。蜜糖的味道的街角都盖满了。 市中心是一个古老的鱼市,里面琳琳种种的鱼和小饭铺,还有卖水果的摊。我花了900买了一小袋蘑菇干,想要给我的味蕾再一个独特的味道作为收藏。出了市场,我的鞋已全湿,开始往回走。路上在电话小屋给妈抱了个平安,接到了记述游记的旨意,于是有了这篇流水账。

May 29

烦躁

烦躁烦躁烦躁烦躁烦躁烦躁烦躁烦躁,
新奥尔良休斯敦马村智利伯克利
跑到哪里去都不管用
旅行强迫症,逃跑?
啊!!!我的灵魂又找不见啦,
行李还没有收拾完。。。。
阿密陀佛智利和伯克利可不要地震
梦村不要下雹子啊
还是睡觉舒服
起来还是烦
烦躁烦躁烦躁烦躁烦躁。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
March 29

鸟的夜空

08年春假
凌晨3点
公寓里灯光依旧
主人们已黑白颠倒
只知房外弥漫着夜
 
和室友偶尔的对话很轻
竟捕捉到屋外的鸟鸣
明明是一种呼唤
走出门去
那声音更清晰
 
那是在呼唤Charlie吗?
除了她的母亲
不知还有谁会在深夜
如此哀愁,思念
 
我叫醒了Charlie,
把她带到门口,
让她告诉妈妈这里一切都好
等夜过去了就去找妈妈
 
门外是一种陌生的夜
说不清是什么颜色
黑色对兰黑钢笔水
浓的盖住了树梢的新绿
 
这夜本是空无一物,
本是不冷不热缺乏温度,
Charlie尖尖的小嗓子喊啊喊啊,
附和着远处不知名的树上的声音。
两个声音像两盏灯把周遭的夜点亮,
在不同方位染上了大小两个晕圈,
暖暖的鸭黄色。
 
夜继续,
后来发现
灯外的夜是夜,
灯下的夜不是夜
是日,
过不去的日。
                                         
下一夜,
Charlie被猫杀死了,
还没享用完的苹果仍在茶几上。
我不知明天怎么向她的妈妈交待,
我彻底失眠了,
我发誓报复那只公猫
王八蛋。
 
 
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